Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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