Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
