i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
