Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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