You really coming over, don't trick.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
