If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
