You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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