I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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