Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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