Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
