How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
