Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
