just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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