had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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