btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
