So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
