There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
