Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
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