My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize