just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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