I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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