She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
there is another microwave in the elevator.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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