He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
