Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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