i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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