S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
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