I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
grandma shit on top of the toilet
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
