Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
