This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
