I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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