I accidentally had phone sex last night
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
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sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
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You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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