How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
