New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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