..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
