He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
