i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
