My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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