she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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