This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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