I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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