Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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