We won't sleep together?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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