Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
