The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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