don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
