Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
