It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize