Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
