would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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