don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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