he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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