I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
