It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?