whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
