So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
