So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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