we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
