he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
