you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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