Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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