His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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