No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
