Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
