your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
