my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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