Why does Corona taste like a burp?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
